yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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