I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
