don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
