I CAN MOONWALK!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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