GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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