i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
