I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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