I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
