Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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