Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
