So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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