Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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