how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize