new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
