@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
