I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize