If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
