i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
