Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
