party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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