I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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