Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize
