I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
