Can Purell be used as lube?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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