I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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