I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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