And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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