Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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