I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
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You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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