Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
