You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
