Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up

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(201): View more from New Jersey

what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

dying kittens.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?

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(510): View more from California

You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink

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(214): View more from Texas

Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.

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(925): View more from California

The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves

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(716): View more from New York

I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.

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(616): View more from Michigan

She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.

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