Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
