she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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