So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize