There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
