so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
