i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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