This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize