Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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