Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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