Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
