You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
