yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just cut my nipple shaving
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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