People with herpes should wear stickers.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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