Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
