Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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