just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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