Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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