How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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