I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
