nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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