Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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