you mean i was at the winter classic?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The beer is more important than you right now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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