I CAN MOONWALK!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
