so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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