Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
