my sisters under your porch take her home
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
