I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
